You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
