im gay
i know
yea but for you.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
