have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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