I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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