whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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