is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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