I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
