he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
