There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
