My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
