he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
