I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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