Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize