Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
