did you get engaged???
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
