That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My vagina is very pro this idea
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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