Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
