24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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