Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize