didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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