it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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