He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
