I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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