i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
