im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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