how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
