go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize