The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
