If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
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