So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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