Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
