He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
