i think my mom watched the whole time
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
