does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
