Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
