He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
