it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
you never un-have a 4some
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
