so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
