They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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