i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
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