there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize