Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
