We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
