LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
