ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
