Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
