Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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