Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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