My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
