Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
