i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I have fence marks all over my body
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
