11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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