I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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