4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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