shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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