Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
