i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I didn't notice because vodka
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
