this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
you inspire me to be a worse person
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
