Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
