I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
