If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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