Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
