Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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