To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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