don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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