I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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