I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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