this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
