How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
