it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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