On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
