I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
