im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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