so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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