Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.

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(904): View more from Florida

she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison

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(614): View more from Ohio

The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.

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(360): View more from Washington

There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.

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(310): View more from California

If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.

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(928): View more from Arizona

Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Cmon. I wasn't that bad.

(1-778): View more from British Columbia

You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."

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