God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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