remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
