Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
