THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
