Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I came so hard my ears popped.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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