Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
they're like a gay fantastic four
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
